Roommate stuff

Having a roommate has turned my hot mess issues up a notch.

Exhibit A: Brush hour
Usually, I use my Sonicare but occasionally I use a regular toothbrush.  Our toothbrush holder usually only has my roommate's toothbrush in it.  One day, I put my regular toothbrush in the holder.  Later I talk to my roommate to find out that we both have been using the purple one since we both thought the pink brush belonged to the other roommate.  Great.

Exhibit B: Please count your eggs before they hatch
Communication is KEY.  We usually buy our own food, but with basics that tend to go bad fast, we share. My roommate bought a dozen eggs.  Then I bought a dozen eggs.  Then my roommate forgot about the first dozen eggs.  We ended up with 36 eggs.

Pac Sun

I was meeting friends up at Disneyland, but on the way there I walked through Downtown Disney.  Wanting to make sure I didn't have anything in my teeth, I went into the first store I saw to use the mirror: Pac Sun.  I walk in, and search for a mirror.  Finally, I find one near the dressing room.  Minding my own business, I check my teeth.  From behind me, I hear "OH MY GOSH, DO YOU LOVE IT?"  I turn around and the convo goes like this:

Me:  Excuse me?
Worker:  Your, shirt.  Do you love it?
Me:  Yes...that's why I put it on this morning...
*pause*
Worker:  OHHH, I thought you were trying it on, we have the exact same one
*holds up button up denim shirt*
Me:  Nope, I got mine at Macy's.  Just in here to use your mirror to check my teeth.

So awkward, but I decided that it was awkward enough anyway, I might as well confess why I was there.

TSA strikes again

I am a professional at getting through security.  Today, TSA let me by pass the huge line of security and I got through in under 5 minutes.  Not sure why I got the priority line, but I'm not one to complain.

Anyways, I wasn't expecting to get through the line so fast.  I got to my gate, ready to text my sis about my latest accomplishment only to realize I didn't have my phone.  

Not this again!  I have already lost my phone at the airport once, how could I have done it again??  I went back to talk to all the TSA folks to update my situation.  Thank goodness they were all pretty nice and chill.  I went back and forth through security 3 times... Found out later the phone was in my carry on the whole time -_-

TBT

This is a throw back story, but not cause it's from the Summer...because something literally got thrown back.

I went to SD with my (current) besties with testes...although at the time, we weren't all that close.  We hiked potato chip rock and were too tired to drive back, so we got a last minute room and stayed the night.  The room was quite spacious, but the sleeping arrangements were very standard: one king bed and one pull out couch.  We decided that I would share the bed with one guy and the other guy would crash on the couch.

Before drifting off to la la land, A (on the couch) turned off the light.  [Disclaimer:  Everyone who knows me, knows that I startle easily and hate being scared].   The lights went off and as I was trying to sleep, H uses his scary "Saw" voice and says "Do you wanna play a game?"

Okay, I haaate being scared.  I don't think it is fun at all.  So in my frustration, I take my pillow and start hitting H with it and the conversation goes like this:
Me: Do... *hit*..not *hit* ...scare *hit*...me *hit*
H:  Ahhhh what is on my face??
Me: I don't know! But don't scare me when I'm trying to sleep!
H: What IS this??? Ahhhhh
A (from the couch): What is going on?!! *turns on light*

Then I take a good look at H.
OMG, I am mortified.
My bra was hooked on to his face!  The strap had caught on over his ear and the cup was covering his face.
I quickly realized that (as habit) I put my bra under my pillow before sleeping.
I grabbed my undergarment as quickly as I could, but I was dying of embarrassment and laughter.

We may not have been that close back then, but H quickly got to know a whole lot more of me than I wanted him to.

Birthday surprise

The staff at work was very thoughtful and posted a sign on my locker that said "happy birthday" with the date on it.  I usually go to my locker on my breaks but haven't been able to go on a break for serveral weeks so I was unaware of this sign.

I showed up to work the last week and one of my co workers started shaking me while yelling "5 more hours!!".... I was so confused. I told him to stop shaking me and I do not know what will happen in 5 hours.  

The sign apparently indicated that it was my bday... Did I forget to mention that the sign was wrong?  It definitely was not my birthday.

Then all the other comments from everyone else started making sense

M: I won't be here tomorrow, but hope you have a great night!!

Me (thinking): What a weird but nice thing to say

Airports

I am notorious for running late for flights and almost missing my plane.  I've even come up with a system to help avoid the issue:  print my tic at home, no checked bags, don't pack liquids, don't wear a jacket, wear toms

I did all that, waited a solid 30 mins in line, got to the front of the security line and TSA looks at my ticket.  For some effing reason, my name isn't on it.  Obviously they can't check my ID against it and they sent me back to the kiosk to print another ticket.

Take off wouldn't be the same if they didn't have me running through the terminals like a madwoman

Stabbed

I jumped on my counter to grab my travel mug from the top of my cabinet shelf.  I had the cabinet door open, miscalculated my jump, and stabbed myself on my side with the sharp cabinet corner.  I had a big gash and scratch that surprisingly bled out.  I literally curled up in fetal position on my counter screaming in agony like a little baby for a good 10 minutes alone in my apartment.

As I waited for the endorphines to kick in, two thoughts came to mind:
1.  I pray to GOD I never get stabbed by a knife cause that would really hurt
2.  at this moment, I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE GRATEFUL FOR MY LOVE HANDLES AND THE PROTECTIVE LAYER OF FAT THEY GIVE ME.