Come clean

(At target)
H:  I need to buy more laundry detergent, I'm running out
Me: ... We don't share?

Metro Rail

On the subway, a bum with one leg was standing next to me... Lost his balance and knocked me over in the process. A (handsome) man in a suit helped pull him back up.  If this was a real sitcom, that man would have helped me up, checked to see if I was ok, and we'd be going out in the near future... But alas this is real life and all he did was look at me to confirm I was ok with a nod and exited at the next stop.

Just a typical Monday morning in the life of Lyn.

Kaiser

In the Kaiser waiting room.

Nurse:  Senor Castillo, we are ready for you
Me: *looks around, no one else is in the waiting room except me...*




I got my tetanus shot in my arm and it was SORE.  sore sore sore.  I went to work that night.
A:  *grabs my arm, right where my shot is* Lyn!!  I haven't seen you in so long!!  I've missed you! *continues to shake me*
Me:  OWWWWW, my tetanus shot *lifts sleeve to show bandaid and swollen area*

Smashed

My poor poor index fingers have been to hell and back.

Scene 1:
Walked into a patient's room.  The doors at my hospital are HEAVY, like lead door heavy.  The entire door smashed my left hand's index finger and instantly a million blot clots appeared on my finger.
Me:  Sorry, I'll be right back
Parent:  Ok
Me:  *Slyly walks out the door, once it closes, I scream/grunt at the top of my lungs because it hurts like a mother*

Yep, my finger definitely was a swollen mess, it turned black/purple under the nail, and the blot clots were more prominent.  I felt like ET because my finger was pulsating all night.

Scene 2 (the next morning):
Me:  omg look at my finger, it's worst
N:  *smacks it*
Me:  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
N: I forgot it hurt!  I thought you were just pointing at me and we were playing a game!

Scene 3:
Opening a window because my toast is burning, somehow pinched the finger pad of the index finger on my RIGHT hand.
Now my other index finger is also swollen and has a disgusting huge black blood clot.

Roommate stuff

Having a roommate has turned my hot mess issues up a notch.

Exhibit A: Brush hour
Usually, I use my Sonicare but occasionally I use a regular toothbrush.  Our toothbrush holder usually only has my roommate's toothbrush in it.  One day, I put my regular toothbrush in the holder.  Later I talk to my roommate to find out that we both have been using the purple one since we both thought the pink brush belonged to the other roommate.  Great.

Exhibit B: Please count your eggs before they hatch
Communication is KEY.  We usually buy our own food, but with basics that tend to go bad fast, we share. My roommate bought a dozen eggs.  Then I bought a dozen eggs.  Then my roommate forgot about the first dozen eggs.  We ended up with 36 eggs.

Pac Sun

I was meeting friends up at Disneyland, but on the way there I walked through Downtown Disney.  Wanting to make sure I didn't have anything in my teeth, I went into the first store I saw to use the mirror: Pac Sun.  I walk in, and search for a mirror.  Finally, I find one near the dressing room.  Minding my own business, I check my teeth.  From behind me, I hear "OH MY GOSH, DO YOU LOVE IT?"  I turn around and the convo goes like this:

Me:  Excuse me?
Worker:  Your, shirt.  Do you love it?
Me:  Yes...that's why I put it on this morning...
*pause*
Worker:  OHHH, I thought you were trying it on, we have the exact same one
*holds up button up denim shirt*
Me:  Nope, I got mine at Macy's.  Just in here to use your mirror to check my teeth.

So awkward, but I decided that it was awkward enough anyway, I might as well confess why I was there.

TSA strikes again

I am a professional at getting through security.  Today, TSA let me by pass the huge line of security and I got through in under 5 minutes.  Not sure why I got the priority line, but I'm not one to complain.

Anyways, I wasn't expecting to get through the line so fast.  I got to my gate, ready to text my sis about my latest accomplishment only to realize I didn't have my phone.  

Not this again!  I have already lost my phone at the airport once, how could I have done it again??  I went back to talk to all the TSA folks to update my situation.  Thank goodness they were all pretty nice and chill.  I went back and forth through security 3 times... Found out later the phone was in my carry on the whole time -_-